I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
