We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
No subtext here. People are naked.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
