Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I would ride that face into the sunset
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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