Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize