we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Everything about him screamed your future.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Randomize
