I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Even my vagina gasped.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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