I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
