You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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