Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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