Kareoke will never be a sober sport
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
