for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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