just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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