Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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