shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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