im holly from the hills drunk
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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