It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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