I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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