so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
