Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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