I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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