my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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