We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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