I like to think it a success when the cops are called
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
