If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
