I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
