stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
