Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
