i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
