If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
