I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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