After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Fuck appropriateness.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
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