Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
