just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
