do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize