rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
