i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
