my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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