As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
