Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
what day is it and did you see me today?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
