So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
not ubering you a puppy
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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