IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
my being single is dangerous.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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