I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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