dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
