I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
