i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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