Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
