Are we in a gay sports bar?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
