Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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