so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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