Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
