I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
