Got a toothbrush?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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