I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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