Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
