We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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