He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize