Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize