so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
