I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Never underestimate the power of titties
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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