Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Randomize
