So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Randomize
