3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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