dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize