Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
