you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize