people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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