this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
