My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize