Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
