i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
