i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
