My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
