I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
