How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
