Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
